Well, here we go again. This time I was prepared. I had called the Tucson police ahead of time letting them know I was going to be in town. Should be smooth sailing right…. I swear this is the universes way of telling me you need to be a standup comedian. There is no other reason this should happen to one person.
There’s a reason I don’t fly Delta, I tell myself that every time I travel but for some unknown reason I thought it would be nice to take a quick little jaunt on my good friends down to Phoenix. Leaving Sunday night, should be no problem; big snowstorm, no problem; flight delay, of course not, Delta, BIG PROBLEM. Every time I fly Southwest, I always seem to know what’s going on. I think the reason is the employees TELL YOU! Sunday night was the biggest joke in aviation history, with the exception of that 90 year old guy who wing walks while flying over the Grand Canyon. Let me share with you a small insight as to what transpired this lovely evening:
Flight boards at 7:30 pm. I have done this a thousand times. I am getting really good at this whole airport traveling thing, but something is nagging at me, something I have not sensed since…
Midway through the second boarding group the overhead bins are full. Are you kidding me? Full? How is that possible we still have about 80 people to load. Here is the fun part; the plane is full of people in the aisle so this means we all have to back the truck up and check all the carry-on luggage. Needless to say after finally getting everyone on then off then on again, we are running about 20 minutes late. No worries, Delta and the ONE announcement the pilot has made tells me we are good to go. Good thing, because when I land, it would suck to have a two hour drive to my hotel. Should be no big deal right? Wrong.
Remember the aforementioned snowstorm, well it’s time to play. We need to de-ice the plane now. We have been sitting for 45 minutes now and supposedly we are in line to de-ice. I see the trucks on both sides of the plane, I count at least 9 trucks sitting waiting to de-ice planes so this should be no big deal. I have done this before this should really only be a few minutes, then it’s off to the runway and away we go.
When I was a kid we used to hose down the driveway when it was muddy (we had no concern for the environment or lack of water back then). With my hose I could spray clean an entire 2 car driveway plus the gutter in about 10 minutes. Apparently with 5,000 psi automated nozzles, two bucket trucks, two ground crew and 3 gagillion gallons of deicer it takes 30 minutes to de-ice a small MD-90 airplane. Of course when I was young I did not count the “sit around and talk for 15 minutes before we start doing anything factor”. I swear I had the worst seat on the plane. I could see the entire process:
-pull up to the plane
-stop and wait
-talk to your buddies
-check the nozzle
-talk to your buddies
-do a test spray
-back up
-test spray again
-talk to your buddies
-fake like you’re going to start but then stop to talk on the raido
-test spray
You get the idea.
I am now starting to get slightly irritated, and we haven’t even taxied to the runway yet. It’s now 8:45 and the pilot decides it’s time to take that leisurely stroll to get in line to see if we can think about taking off. I mean, no big deal to him right? We slowly, and I mean like drag your kids through the mall on Black Friday slowly, ease up to what seems like it may be something similar to and resembling that of a runway approach. The pilot finally comes on to assure us we are third in line for takeoff and thanks us for our patience and tells us it won’t be but a few more minutes.
After sitting at a dead stop for 30 minutes while the pilot finished his Sudoku we inch forward and seem to be doing what could slightly misconstrued as next in line. There is still no word from the pilot as to why it is now an hour and change past our departing time, other than thanking us for our patience. No matter, we are moving toward the runway and certain progress, we make the turn onto runway 34R the engines start to whine, the stewardess have crosschecked the cabin (whatever that means, what is a crosscheck anyway?) and we are ready to roll. We ease down the runway slowly building up speed, any second now I will feel the rush of power telling me I am off on another adventure. Any minute now… any minute now… we are a good 250 feet down the runway and it feels like the pilot is window shopping on Main Street. He is just casually sauntering down the runway, no speed, no pick up, no nothing. Finally he comes over the intercom and tells us Salt Lake International tells us they just closed this runway because it is too slippery and it is too dangerous for braking. Now I am no pilot, and I certainly have not had anywhere near the training of the highly motivated professionals at Delta Airlines, but I thought when you were taking off, you needed LESS braking and MORE speed. I thought the purpose of a takeoff, was to reduce the braking and increase the going faster. Who knew?
The pilot jumps on again telling us we now have been re-routed to runway 34L so it shouldn’t be too much longer and we would just go around and get in line to take off. I am running the time in my head and am thinking if we don’t get off the ground soon, we are going to have to de-ice again. We had a lovely 20 minute drive all over Salt Lake International’s runway and taxi lanes, it’s beautiful country on a snowy winter night. If you ever get the chance to be stranded, by all means, take it.
At last we make our way over to the runway when the pilot gently calls overhead telling us we are now second in line for takeoff. I watch as two planes to our left pull in ahead and then turn out of my view. I hear the roar of their engines, they are gone. We should be moving forward…. Then I see a plane come in to land. HMMMM? Curious, I thought we were number 3? Our loving and ever honest pilot now comes on to calmly tell us we need to try and let some of the air traffic clear so we need to let two planes land before we can take off. From my seat I can see them coming in. One, two, three, four, another plane takes off in front of us, five six, seven, still nothing, eight, nine. Nine friggin planes land all while we are sitting there. I am way past patient and have saddled my way over to angry. Still we sit.
The pilot then comes over the intercom and tells us there is a medical emergency on board and we may have to go back to the gate. Its now 10:30, almost three hours past our departure time and NOW we have a medical emergency? Tell you what chief, I am going to have a serious bladder emergency if we don’t get this bucket off the ground, and from the sounds of it, looks like another 100 or so people are as well.
I know what we should do, let’s take another stroll all around Salt Lake International runways to see what is the longest possible trip to the gate. Seriously, we taxied around for another 30 minutes. I am thinking, the emergency can’t be such a huge deal, every other plane on the planet seems to get priority over us so really, what’s a heart attck among friends?
11 pm, we finally arrive at our gate, the stewardess comes on this time to tell us, it wasn’t really a medical emergency, but a nervous passenger who wants off. REALLY? ARE YOU SERIOUS? SHE’S NERVOUS!!!! Well then, by all means, let’s just inconvenience the other 148 passengers who have now sat through three hours of frustration. No big deal.
We have taxied so far and been out so long, we have to refuel. What kind of mileage do these things get anyway? We are now told, it will be just a few moments before we are on our way, but if anyone needs to use the restroom please feel free. It was like the running of the bulls.
At 11:30 we start to push back, only there is a twist. We have pulled into the wrong gate, and we can’t get out normally. We have essentially pulled into a dead end and have to be pushed 14 gates backwards so there is room to turn the plane around. Not really sure those little tank things are meant to back planes about 3 ½ miles. After the pilot gets the plane rolling again, guess what? Oh yeah! De-Icing! It’s my favorite, and by now, I am fairly certain I have a new career option, I have seen it done so many times. Again with the 30 minute de-icing (see steps above) and we are off right? I mean it’s now midnight; we started this lovely journey into insanity and frustration four and a half hours ago. Well you’d be wrong. It’s now time to sit at the deicing pad for another 15 minutes while, well, nothing happens, nothing from the pilot, the stewardesses, the trucks, CIA, FBI, sesame street, Dora, nothing. Nobody is doing anything, except the planes next to us. I see three, count them three planes pull up, deice and leave. (they must have washed driveways in their youth).
Finally at 12:20 we motor on over to the runway and sit ready for takeoff. Just shy of five hours on the plane and we have moved about 500 yards from where we started. The pilot tells us we are clear for takeoff and this time, truly this time, we are leaving our wintery wonderland. The flight attendant starts in on the drinks available, snacks this, peanuts that, headphones this other and I am thinking, I better get the whole can instead of that dumb sippy cup size thing they usually give out. To top it all of get this; they tell us the snacks they are serving are $2. They have chocolate, and other snacks, but please remember they don’t take cash, it's credit only. This is what I get for flying Delta, five hours taxiing around Salt Lake international and Delta can’t even cough up the M&M’s unless we pay.
Unbelievable.
I won’t even tell you about the rental car….
Monday, November 29, 2010
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Whatcha going do when they come for you?
Last week was another lovely work trip. SUPPOSEDLY one state this time.
I flew into the lovely and quaint town of Phoenix AZ with the intent of driving about two hours down to Tucson, closing that branch, coming back to Phoenix, close that branch, and then up to the thriving metropolis of Flagstaff. Well, as per usual the rental car is a mess, so I have to upgrade. Let me give you this small hint. Once you find a decent place to rent cars, DO NOT SWITCH. The new company will totally hose you and then expect you to be stupid enough to stand there and take it. By the way, they are not really happy when you walk away mid rental and tell them you are going next door. Judging by the nasty language of the 20-something rental agent (who will probably die in his mothers basement) they down right hate it.
Fast forward two and a half hours of driving (by the way, if you have to pee in Phoenix and think you are just going to "hold it" until Tucson, dont.
I arrived at our illustrious Tucson location only to find I had to hunt down someone with keys, because the person we thought had keys did not. Once inside I once again saw first hand the foul nature of humanity. When you are let go from a job you would think you would try to retain some bit of dignity. Nope, not these people, it was dump trash, throw files, leave every possible thing on the floor. This place was so messy my 15 year old's room looked clean in comparison.
Its getting late, I realize this because my tummy is yelling "Food now, or we put this bad boy in reverse Jack!" So, i trot down to the local fast food establishment quickly choke down enough calories for the average 3A Marching Band (GO JAGS!) and proceed back to the branch.
By this time, it's dark. I realize at this point, the other 4 suites in this small strip mall style building are empty as well, and the landlord in a money saving effort has decided to turn off ALL the lights. No parking lights, standing lights, building lights, NOTHING! I am starting to get a bit freaked out.
I finally get things all boxed up, ready to load. I am starting to load everything in my Chevy Malibu (imagine what I started with if the Malibu was my upgrade!) If you are wondering, you can fit 19 boxes of files, 6 boxes of supplies, three 19" monitors, two laptops, one desktop, two boxes of paper, a small duffel bag, a 24 port switch, a wireless router, a small firewall, one box of cat5 cable, and a 135 lb printer all in the car, and still fit a dashingly good looking facility manager. Props to Chevy!
Meanwhile, amidst the fun of playing tetris with all my boxes the following took place. I take one box out, load it, go back and get another. Take a box out, load it, go back and get another. Take a box out,load ... "STOP! PUT THE BOX DOWN AND STEP AWAY FROM THE CAR!!!" Apparently when you have your car backed up on to the sidewalk, and you are in the very dark part of the Tucson business district, it may in some way give the impression to Tucson's finest you may be stealing.
Well by this time, its almost 11 O'clock at night, I am exhausted, and as always, I think I am pretty funny. The pride and joy of Tucson didn't see it that way. After some extremely poor choices for answers on my part, and going through almost every paper I had, including multiple things from my wallet, and a 15 minute spot where I was sitting cross legged on the ground, Andy Griffith decided to let me go. He apparently thought he had saved the city from the terrors of, well, me.
So as I recall this story, was I arrested, no. At no point was I encased in handcuffs. I was however, detained. I wanted to run, I wanted to be the bad boy, but lets face it, After 40 you really don't run, you saunter. Even the Tucson police can usually catch the criminally sauntering.
I flew into the lovely and quaint town of Phoenix AZ with the intent of driving about two hours down to Tucson, closing that branch, coming back to Phoenix, close that branch, and then up to the thriving metropolis of Flagstaff. Well, as per usual the rental car is a mess, so I have to upgrade. Let me give you this small hint. Once you find a decent place to rent cars, DO NOT SWITCH. The new company will totally hose you and then expect you to be stupid enough to stand there and take it. By the way, they are not really happy when you walk away mid rental and tell them you are going next door. Judging by the nasty language of the 20-something rental agent (who will probably die in his mothers basement) they down right hate it.
Fast forward two and a half hours of driving (by the way, if you have to pee in Phoenix and think you are just going to "hold it" until Tucson, dont.
I arrived at our illustrious Tucson location only to find I had to hunt down someone with keys, because the person we thought had keys did not. Once inside I once again saw first hand the foul nature of humanity. When you are let go from a job you would think you would try to retain some bit of dignity. Nope, not these people, it was dump trash, throw files, leave every possible thing on the floor. This place was so messy my 15 year old's room looked clean in comparison.
Its getting late, I realize this because my tummy is yelling "Food now, or we put this bad boy in reverse Jack!" So, i trot down to the local fast food establishment quickly choke down enough calories for the average 3A Marching Band (GO JAGS!) and proceed back to the branch.
By this time, it's dark. I realize at this point, the other 4 suites in this small strip mall style building are empty as well, and the landlord in a money saving effort has decided to turn off ALL the lights. No parking lights, standing lights, building lights, NOTHING! I am starting to get a bit freaked out.
I finally get things all boxed up, ready to load. I am starting to load everything in my Chevy Malibu (imagine what I started with if the Malibu was my upgrade!) If you are wondering, you can fit 19 boxes of files, 6 boxes of supplies, three 19" monitors, two laptops, one desktop, two boxes of paper, a small duffel bag, a 24 port switch, a wireless router, a small firewall, one box of cat5 cable, and a 135 lb printer all in the car, and still fit a dashingly good looking facility manager. Props to Chevy!
Meanwhile, amidst the fun of playing tetris with all my boxes the following took place. I take one box out, load it, go back and get another. Take a box out, load it, go back and get another. Take a box out,load ... "STOP! PUT THE BOX DOWN AND STEP AWAY FROM THE CAR!!!" Apparently when you have your car backed up on to the sidewalk, and you are in the very dark part of the Tucson business district, it may in some way give the impression to Tucson's finest you may be stealing.
Well by this time, its almost 11 O'clock at night, I am exhausted, and as always, I think I am pretty funny. The pride and joy of Tucson didn't see it that way. After some extremely poor choices for answers on my part, and going through almost every paper I had, including multiple things from my wallet, and a 15 minute spot where I was sitting cross legged on the ground, Andy Griffith decided to let me go. He apparently thought he had saved the city from the terrors of, well, me.
So as I recall this story, was I arrested, no. At no point was I encased in handcuffs. I was however, detained. I wanted to run, I wanted to be the bad boy, but lets face it, After 40 you really don't run, you saunter. Even the Tucson police can usually catch the criminally sauntering.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Not Quite
Well, in keeping with the low self esteem theme, I would like to tell you a small story.
A while back I was a district trainer for a large retail video chain who shall remain nameless,,, I like to train. I think I keep things interesting while presenting the information in a format people will remember. I would like to think I am somewhat entertaining.
I tell you that story to tell you this one; recently I have been asked to help with a small portion of the training at my current work. It's a nice break and it gives me an opportunity to really get to know all the people coming to work for our company.
Well, in one of my most recent trainings, I was about 30 minutes in to my schtick when one of the younger girls raised her hand. Now I work in the mortgage industry, which is notorious for hiring very pretty girls. This is how the conversation went:
Craig: "yes, did you have a question?"
Unnamed Girl: "you kind of remind me of a movie star, but I can't think of his name..."
At this point, the first thought that pops in my head is possibly George Clooney, he's older, distinguished, good looking, rugged...yeah, that may be him. So I asked,
Craig: "is he a current movie guy?"
Unnamed Girl: "yeah I think so, dang, what was he in?"
Craig: "George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp?" (all older distinguished gentlemen)
Unnamed Girl: "OH WAIT! I remember, it was the guy from Ghostbusters, the nerdy accountant"
Yup, nothing like a little Rick Moranis to really make your day...
A while back I was a district trainer for a large retail video chain who shall remain nameless,,, I like to train. I think I keep things interesting while presenting the information in a format people will remember. I would like to think I am somewhat entertaining.
I tell you that story to tell you this one; recently I have been asked to help with a small portion of the training at my current work. It's a nice break and it gives me an opportunity to really get to know all the people coming to work for our company.
Well, in one of my most recent trainings, I was about 30 minutes in to my schtick when one of the younger girls raised her hand. Now I work in the mortgage industry, which is notorious for hiring very pretty girls. This is how the conversation went:
Craig: "yes, did you have a question?"
Unnamed Girl: "you kind of remind me of a movie star, but I can't think of his name..."
At this point, the first thought that pops in my head is possibly George Clooney, he's older, distinguished, good looking, rugged...yeah, that may be him. So I asked,
Craig: "is he a current movie guy?"
Unnamed Girl: "yeah I think so, dang, what was he in?"
Craig: "George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp?" (all older distinguished gentlemen)
Unnamed Girl: "OH WAIT! I remember, it was the guy from Ghostbusters, the nerdy accountant"
Yup, nothing like a little Rick Moranis to really make your day...
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Never Again
As a person with low self-esteem, I have tried to post those things when read will make people think I have some fairly deep thoughts and am bringing a better perspective to things.
Well today aint one of those days....
Earlier this year I lost about 35lbs. Oh dont worry, I have found most of it. I am trying to do the right thing. You know eat right, exercise, blah, blah, blah. It's not helping to have an In-N-Out 4.68 minutes from work, and one even closer from home I tell ya!. Well, this has not been a good weekend for the eating habits. We had pizza, treats, ice cream, soda...it's been rough.
Well last night my darling wife decided to make some popcorn while we watched lost. We were eating away and just having a grand old time. The episode ended and we took a small break (more treats) and I decided to blow my nose and go to the bathroom.
***DISGUSTING ALERT***
...i blew my nose and just after found one of those pesky kernel seed cover things from the popcorn stuck to my teeth. I worked it around with my tongue a bit, sucked on it, pushed it through chewed it, you know really gave it everything my mouth had without actually brushing my teeth. I finally worked the thing loose and put it on the end of my tongue to grab with my fingers. I reached up, grabbed it out of my mouth thinking, wow, that was a big kernel and discovered that somehow when I blew my nose a GIANT booger had taken the tram from my tissue and landed in my mouth.
It was no popcorn kernel I was working to get loose, I was simply chewing on my booger.
So, in keeping with tradition, please remember to not blow your nose directly after eating popcorn. The mistake could be tragic. Also be sure to have plenty of mouthwash on hand, just in case.
Well today aint one of those days....
Earlier this year I lost about 35lbs. Oh dont worry, I have found most of it. I am trying to do the right thing. You know eat right, exercise, blah, blah, blah. It's not helping to have an In-N-Out 4.68 minutes from work, and one even closer from home I tell ya!. Well, this has not been a good weekend for the eating habits. We had pizza, treats, ice cream, soda...it's been rough.
Well last night my darling wife decided to make some popcorn while we watched lost. We were eating away and just having a grand old time. The episode ended and we took a small break (more treats) and I decided to blow my nose and go to the bathroom.
***DISGUSTING ALERT***
...i blew my nose and just after found one of those pesky kernel seed cover things from the popcorn stuck to my teeth. I worked it around with my tongue a bit, sucked on it, pushed it through chewed it, you know really gave it everything my mouth had without actually brushing my teeth. I finally worked the thing loose and put it on the end of my tongue to grab with my fingers. I reached up, grabbed it out of my mouth thinking, wow, that was a big kernel and discovered that somehow when I blew my nose a GIANT booger had taken the tram from my tissue and landed in my mouth.
It was no popcorn kernel I was working to get loose, I was simply chewing on my booger.
So, in keeping with tradition, please remember to not blow your nose directly after eating popcorn. The mistake could be tragic. Also be sure to have plenty of mouthwash on hand, just in case.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
OH! I remember
There are days when you can't quite figure out why you had children. You sit and ask yourself what posessed you to do this? You really don't have an answer either. There is no logical reason why any human would want to stop sleeping for a 1-9 month period, lug around 35 extra pounds of gear, spend every last dime you have and for what? You cant quite get yourself an answer.
I remember when we had our first. As new parents we took so much gear with us everywhere we went, the United States Marine Corps Infantry used to laugh. By the time we had our 5th, we were throwing Dr. Pepper in a sippy cup and using my pants to wipe up snot. You have a tendancy to relax a bit.
Last night was not one of those nights. I spent the evening with the West Jordan High School Marching Jaguars. We are a musical little family, drums, trumpet, flutes, clarinets, guitar, keyboards, saxaphone, we play music, its in our lives.
I watched last night as the Jags competed against 4 or five other schools, we then stayed to watch the bigger 4A and 5A schools compete, then an exhibition from the BYU marching band and drumline. Needless to say it was impressive.
I always try to make a point when I blog, which is why I dont blog about useless or trivial items. The point I am trying to make here, and to tie in my beginning statement is simply this:
There is nothing, and I mean nothing, which makes me happier than to see my children perform. I cried last night. I teared up with joy and pride watching Lauren and Kyle out there on the BYU marching band field at LaVell Edwards Stadium perform. I watched as they gave everything they had worked for.
Now, for those of you NON-MARCHING BAND folks, dont kid yourself. These kids work as hard as any athletic team. I mean YOU try to go out and cover 7 yards in 5 steps while playing music, staying in step, not running over the person in front of you, not being run over, dodging those flashy flag girls and watching the Drum Major for timing queues. Its tough.
Last night watching my kids perform, it made me realize how wonderful it is to be a Dad. I also realize my wife had more to do with how these kids turned out than I ever will, but at least I can say they are mine.
The band didnt win anything. No awards, no mentions, no place, show, good job, better luck next time, good effort, thanks for playing, pass go, you rolled doubles, roll again, NOTHING. What did my kids do? They cheered. They applauded the winners.
Life was good last night, and I remembered why it was I decided to have kids. I tease and joke with them, probably too often about how I had kids so we could get the lawn mowed and the trash taken out. But last night it was all becuase I love to see my kids succeed, even when they lose. Its nice to know your children will all grow up to be a better person than you could ever hope to be.
Nice job Jags! No matter what the judges say, you are always 1st place in my heart.
I remember when we had our first. As new parents we took so much gear with us everywhere we went, the United States Marine Corps Infantry used to laugh. By the time we had our 5th, we were throwing Dr. Pepper in a sippy cup and using my pants to wipe up snot. You have a tendancy to relax a bit.
Last night was not one of those nights. I spent the evening with the West Jordan High School Marching Jaguars. We are a musical little family, drums, trumpet, flutes, clarinets, guitar, keyboards, saxaphone, we play music, its in our lives.
I watched last night as the Jags competed against 4 or five other schools, we then stayed to watch the bigger 4A and 5A schools compete, then an exhibition from the BYU marching band and drumline. Needless to say it was impressive.
I always try to make a point when I blog, which is why I dont blog about useless or trivial items. The point I am trying to make here, and to tie in my beginning statement is simply this:
There is nothing, and I mean nothing, which makes me happier than to see my children perform. I cried last night. I teared up with joy and pride watching Lauren and Kyle out there on the BYU marching band field at LaVell Edwards Stadium perform. I watched as they gave everything they had worked for.
Now, for those of you NON-MARCHING BAND folks, dont kid yourself. These kids work as hard as any athletic team. I mean YOU try to go out and cover 7 yards in 5 steps while playing music, staying in step, not running over the person in front of you, not being run over, dodging those flashy flag girls and watching the Drum Major for timing queues. Its tough.
Last night watching my kids perform, it made me realize how wonderful it is to be a Dad. I also realize my wife had more to do with how these kids turned out than I ever will, but at least I can say they are mine.
The band didnt win anything. No awards, no mentions, no place, show, good job, better luck next time, good effort, thanks for playing, pass go, you rolled doubles, roll again, NOTHING. What did my kids do? They cheered. They applauded the winners.
Life was good last night, and I remembered why it was I decided to have kids. I tease and joke with them, probably too often about how I had kids so we could get the lawn mowed and the trash taken out. But last night it was all becuase I love to see my kids succeed, even when they lose. Its nice to know your children will all grow up to be a better person than you could ever hope to be.
Nice job Jags! No matter what the judges say, you are always 1st place in my heart.
Friday, September 10, 2010
all alone again
Like the good Willie Nelson song, I am
"all alone again,
I just can't believe I'm alone again
my wife has gone and I'm the mom in the kitchen
I can't believe that I'm all alone again" (follow the tune, it matches)
Yes my dear wife has gone off on another wonderful Mary Kay trip, leaving me all alone again. Expecting me to pull of yet another miracle in the kitchen and actually believing I will get the right kids to the right school at the right time with the right backpacks...
not going to happen.
lauren left late, no lunch, I think she said she can get one. She's cute someone should be able to feed her. I think I packed Kyles lunch, there was food in a bag when he left anyway. I did manage to put carrots and strawberries in a bag for Grant (no Wendi I did not wash them) and made bloody sandwiches (too much jelly where it oozes out the sides is called bloody sandwiches).
I finally got everyone on there way, made it to work an hour and fifteen minutes late and thought I was doing really well. Thats when it hit me... I didnt brush my teeth or put on deodorant. I had to run to the building bathroom to make sure my hair was combed....yup its going to be a long day.
After texting Wendi to remember who got out of school when, I made the mad dash to pick up the kids; and a hamburger for myself thank you.
We had some folders to return to Office Max and as we were leaving we passed a Carl's Jr. There was a rather large young man coming out and Grant the calm loving 11 year old says
"Ahhh the typical fat kid at Carl's"
Now I ask you, is it me? At one point the kids got to take responsibility for themselves right?
"all alone again,
I just can't believe I'm alone again
my wife has gone and I'm the mom in the kitchen
I can't believe that I'm all alone again" (follow the tune, it matches)
Yes my dear wife has gone off on another wonderful Mary Kay trip, leaving me all alone again. Expecting me to pull of yet another miracle in the kitchen and actually believing I will get the right kids to the right school at the right time with the right backpacks...
not going to happen.
lauren left late, no lunch, I think she said she can get one. She's cute someone should be able to feed her. I think I packed Kyles lunch, there was food in a bag when he left anyway. I did manage to put carrots and strawberries in a bag for Grant (no Wendi I did not wash them) and made bloody sandwiches (too much jelly where it oozes out the sides is called bloody sandwiches).
I finally got everyone on there way, made it to work an hour and fifteen minutes late and thought I was doing really well. Thats when it hit me... I didnt brush my teeth or put on deodorant. I had to run to the building bathroom to make sure my hair was combed....yup its going to be a long day.
After texting Wendi to remember who got out of school when, I made the mad dash to pick up the kids; and a hamburger for myself thank you.
We had some folders to return to Office Max and as we were leaving we passed a Carl's Jr. There was a rather large young man coming out and Grant the calm loving 11 year old says
"Ahhh the typical fat kid at Carl's"
Now I ask you, is it me? At one point the kids got to take responsibility for themselves right?
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
another wonderful trip...
Normally I try to present some sort of moral, or “silver lining” when I write, but this time I cannot help it. I would like you to ask to please excuse my being a HUGE jerk, but I can’t take it anymore. I have to vent. I recently got back from another glorious trip for work. Santa Barbara, how bad could it be? Our branch was literally 3 minutes from the beach, my hotel was about 5 minutes, this should be a winner of a trip right? Wrong…
Now, I have learned through traveling, its much easier to get things you want and need if you are kind to the people helping you. But there are times when you really feel the need to light people on fire.
I left on time, extra time actually, I am always on time. I plan for delays. It makes traveling much less stressful. And since my traveling is to branches to shut them down, I need all the non-stress I can get.
I got right through security, went right to the gate, flight was on time, I boarded second, this is looking good. Until…
Please answer me this, why in the world would you send two 8 year old twin boys to Las Vegas on their own? And why in the world, Miss Airline Flight Attendant, makes you think I would like them sitting RIGHT BEHIND ME? First of all, Salt Lake to Vegas is only a few hours; drive them! There is no reason for you to put two small children on a plane. I don’t believe they were heading for a spleen transplant which could only take place in Vegas, and had to happen before 9am. I mean really? The reason I have 5 kids is because I didn’t want 6. I thought, “OK be cool, I can throw on my headphones 10 minutes into this and you won’t even hear them. Well let me tell you, not only did I hear them, I felt them, the entire one hour and 15 minutes. I have fairly decent headphones, and I had my movie as loud as my old man ears could handle. I could still hear them yelling:
“In my world, I am a black belt, and you are an orange belt, and I can chop you like this!”
“Well in my world, I am a ninja, and ninjas, can kill a black belt like this!”
I wanted to turn around and shoot them in the face with a bazooka, and yell, “IN THE REAL FRIGGIN WORLD I SPENT SOME TIME IN THE MARINE CORPS AND I AM FAIRLY SURE I COULD SNAP BOTH YOUR NECKS AND THEN PUSH YOU BOTH OUT THE WINDOW OF THIS PLANE DURING FLIGHT!”
Thankfully the stewardess used her Jedi senses and gently asked the monkeys to settle down. The first 12 rows of the plane breathed a collective sigh of relief. We then landed with only minor ninja battles taking place. Apparently, a level 10 master ninja black belt with purple stripes will out fight a secret spy karate master with super powers of death, who knew?
The next glorious episode in this lovely trip came when I stopped by the rental car counter. Now my first full time gig was a rental car agent, I worked that job for about 3 months when my dear wife and I were first married, I get it. I got to the counter and gave them my license and conf#. I was then promptly told, “You’re not in the system” (time to put on the charm…) “WeLL, here is my PRINTED CONFIRMATION FROM YOUR STUPID WEBSITE” was the inside voice, but what came out was; “Silly how those computers make things difficult sometimes, what can I do to help, here is my confirmation.”
“You’ll just have to wait until I help everyone else and we will see what we can do” he says… so I patiently wait, and wait, and wait. I am thinking, I swear, if I get back up to that counter and he tells me they don’t have any cars, I will jump across this counter and remove his pancreas, through his anus. He finally tells me he can help, but he can’t (won’t) honor the rate, or the car I reserved. Well that’s good, because when I woke up at 4:20 am the first thought that popped in my head was, “Gee I hope I get to pay $62.99 a day plus applicable taxes and California mandated fees to rent a KIA!”
Lucky me, be careful what you wish for.
Keep in mind; I am supposed to be at my branch at 1pm. It’s an hour and forty five minute drive from the airport, I still have not been given my car, I haven’t eaten, there may be a possibility of slight traffic in Southern California, and, oh yeah, its 11:45. Who needs lunch?
Finally I am by myself, got the iPod going in the fine luxury of my newly rented KIA, traffic is scooting, things may be looking up, or not.
My phone rings. I know you are not supposed to answer it in California, but it was a local number and I am afraid it was the movers calling me to pick up the furniture. I take a peek around looking for Ponch and John (CHiPs, who remembers!) and sneak an answer, good thing, it’s the movers, they are going to be there early, is that a problem?
After some sweet talking, and an agreement to let them date my sister (wait until I tell Jarrod he has a blind date) I talk them into waiting. Now for being in such a hurry, I was amazed at how long it took these two fine men to move 6 desks. Six, that’s all, pick them up, load them in the truck 20 feet outside my door, six desks. Nothing else, just six desks. 3 hours later, I am asking them how much longer, I have a wee bit of hungry tummy. I have other things to do, equipment to pack and ship, files to go through, you know, WORK!
I guess I just don’t understand why people have to be so frustrating. I mean, there is no way it could be me…..
Now, I have learned through traveling, its much easier to get things you want and need if you are kind to the people helping you. But there are times when you really feel the need to light people on fire.
I left on time, extra time actually, I am always on time. I plan for delays. It makes traveling much less stressful. And since my traveling is to branches to shut them down, I need all the non-stress I can get.
I got right through security, went right to the gate, flight was on time, I boarded second, this is looking good. Until…
Please answer me this, why in the world would you send two 8 year old twin boys to Las Vegas on their own? And why in the world, Miss Airline Flight Attendant, makes you think I would like them sitting RIGHT BEHIND ME? First of all, Salt Lake to Vegas is only a few hours; drive them! There is no reason for you to put two small children on a plane. I don’t believe they were heading for a spleen transplant which could only take place in Vegas, and had to happen before 9am. I mean really? The reason I have 5 kids is because I didn’t want 6. I thought, “OK be cool, I can throw on my headphones 10 minutes into this and you won’t even hear them. Well let me tell you, not only did I hear them, I felt them, the entire one hour and 15 minutes. I have fairly decent headphones, and I had my movie as loud as my old man ears could handle. I could still hear them yelling:
“In my world, I am a black belt, and you are an orange belt, and I can chop you like this!”
“Well in my world, I am a ninja, and ninjas, can kill a black belt like this!”
I wanted to turn around and shoot them in the face with a bazooka, and yell, “IN THE REAL FRIGGIN WORLD I SPENT SOME TIME IN THE MARINE CORPS AND I AM FAIRLY SURE I COULD SNAP BOTH YOUR NECKS AND THEN PUSH YOU BOTH OUT THE WINDOW OF THIS PLANE DURING FLIGHT!”
Thankfully the stewardess used her Jedi senses and gently asked the monkeys to settle down. The first 12 rows of the plane breathed a collective sigh of relief. We then landed with only minor ninja battles taking place. Apparently, a level 10 master ninja black belt with purple stripes will out fight a secret spy karate master with super powers of death, who knew?
The next glorious episode in this lovely trip came when I stopped by the rental car counter. Now my first full time gig was a rental car agent, I worked that job for about 3 months when my dear wife and I were first married, I get it. I got to the counter and gave them my license and conf#. I was then promptly told, “You’re not in the system” (time to put on the charm…) “WeLL, here is my PRINTED CONFIRMATION FROM YOUR STUPID WEBSITE” was the inside voice, but what came out was; “Silly how those computers make things difficult sometimes, what can I do to help, here is my confirmation.”
“You’ll just have to wait until I help everyone else and we will see what we can do” he says… so I patiently wait, and wait, and wait. I am thinking, I swear, if I get back up to that counter and he tells me they don’t have any cars, I will jump across this counter and remove his pancreas, through his anus. He finally tells me he can help, but he can’t (won’t) honor the rate, or the car I reserved. Well that’s good, because when I woke up at 4:20 am the first thought that popped in my head was, “Gee I hope I get to pay $62.99 a day plus applicable taxes and California mandated fees to rent a KIA!”
Lucky me, be careful what you wish for.
Keep in mind; I am supposed to be at my branch at 1pm. It’s an hour and forty five minute drive from the airport, I still have not been given my car, I haven’t eaten, there may be a possibility of slight traffic in Southern California, and, oh yeah, its 11:45. Who needs lunch?
Finally I am by myself, got the iPod going in the fine luxury of my newly rented KIA, traffic is scooting, things may be looking up, or not.
My phone rings. I know you are not supposed to answer it in California, but it was a local number and I am afraid it was the movers calling me to pick up the furniture. I take a peek around looking for Ponch and John (CHiPs, who remembers!) and sneak an answer, good thing, it’s the movers, they are going to be there early, is that a problem?
After some sweet talking, and an agreement to let them date my sister (wait until I tell Jarrod he has a blind date) I talk them into waiting. Now for being in such a hurry, I was amazed at how long it took these two fine men to move 6 desks. Six, that’s all, pick them up, load them in the truck 20 feet outside my door, six desks. Nothing else, just six desks. 3 hours later, I am asking them how much longer, I have a wee bit of hungry tummy. I have other things to do, equipment to pack and ship, files to go through, you know, WORK!
I guess I just don’t understand why people have to be so frustrating. I mean, there is no way it could be me…..
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
I'm not 20 you know
I have hit that point in my life where I am realizing I am not where I want to be. I guess this is a midlife crisis, but I dont want a sports car, where would I put the kids and groceries?
I am realizing all the things I dreamed of, all the things I wanted, are just simply not going to happen. It's rather depressing you know. My whole life, I wanted to run the Jungle Cruise at Disneyland. I can see it now....
"There is native arts and crafts on the left, Art is the one on top"
"There is the 2nd most feared animal in the jungle, does anyone know the first....his mother in law!"
Yup, I know 'em all. I love that ride, but its just not going to happen. I am not going to be a lawyer. Ask my cousin Tina, I can out argue, and out logic anyone on the planet, or at least make them, think I can.
Well, I am not going to be dazzlingly good looking either. I always wanted to be more than just cute, but I have hit way past my prime. I think I am going to have to settle, for "slightly distinguished". I realized this when I looked in the mirror; (by the way, for anyone building a house: DO NOT PUT A FULL LENGTH MIRROR ACROSS FROM YOUR FULL GLASS SHOWER!) and saw that I had gained slightly more than a few pounds. I am a United States Marine, this was simply unacceptable. I had to do something. I spent eight years in the Marines, I have run more than most others will run in two lifetimes, so running to help my weight was not really an option. I tried the In-N-Out Double Double Animal Style Fries diet, but for some reason, i did not get the results I was looking for. The Dr. Pepper and Peanutbutter Twix Diet was a complete bomb, and the Chocodile in the morning along with my Burger King sausage Croissant diet was completely worthless.
Alas I must exercise, I started to do your basic push-ups, and sit-ups, but didnt get anywhere. Running it seemed was the answer. I started small. Into the kitchen for some chips and dip. I would run into the bedroom to lay down. Run to get the mail (I needed a stop on this one). I finally worked my way to a mile, then mile and a half, then the other night, I was feeling saucy and put down 4.5 miles. I was feeling good. I was king of the world.
So tonight, I took off again. I usually feel yucky during the first part, but then it works itself out. Tonight was a different story. I started to feel yucky, but thought it would pass. I pushed on, determined to keep going. However my body had other ideas. About a mile in, which coincidentally is a mile from my house, i felt like I was going to throw up a kidney, I thought I just needed to adjust my pace. I slowed down but then was passed by an 85 year old woman walking her toy poodle. (i could have taken her). I kept going, and by this time I could have sworn actual bits of my lungs were exploding with every breath.
Maybe I should start back.....
I kept on, slower this time, I was sweating like the guy in the airplane movie. I was getting close. Checking my watch, how long had I been out? Are my kids still at home? Is Briana married? I was sure I had been running for 3 or 4 years; 14 minutes. WHEW!
I rounded the corner and it was then that I realized, I could have done this for days when I was younger. Things came easier, the future looked brighter, you had it all to look forward to. Now, later, you look back and regret too much, miss too much, and think of what could have been. So my thought was take today for what it is worth. You will only get it once.
Unless you run the jungle cruise, then you will see it every 11 minutes
I am realizing all the things I dreamed of, all the things I wanted, are just simply not going to happen. It's rather depressing you know. My whole life, I wanted to run the Jungle Cruise at Disneyland. I can see it now....
"There is native arts and crafts on the left, Art is the one on top"
"There is the 2nd most feared animal in the jungle, does anyone know the first....his mother in law!"
Yup, I know 'em all. I love that ride, but its just not going to happen. I am not going to be a lawyer. Ask my cousin Tina, I can out argue, and out logic anyone on the planet, or at least make them, think I can.
Well, I am not going to be dazzlingly good looking either. I always wanted to be more than just cute, but I have hit way past my prime. I think I am going to have to settle, for "slightly distinguished". I realized this when I looked in the mirror; (by the way, for anyone building a house: DO NOT PUT A FULL LENGTH MIRROR ACROSS FROM YOUR FULL GLASS SHOWER!) and saw that I had gained slightly more than a few pounds. I am a United States Marine, this was simply unacceptable. I had to do something. I spent eight years in the Marines, I have run more than most others will run in two lifetimes, so running to help my weight was not really an option. I tried the In-N-Out Double Double Animal Style Fries diet, but for some reason, i did not get the results I was looking for. The Dr. Pepper and Peanutbutter Twix Diet was a complete bomb, and the Chocodile in the morning along with my Burger King sausage Croissant diet was completely worthless.
Alas I must exercise, I started to do your basic push-ups, and sit-ups, but didnt get anywhere. Running it seemed was the answer. I started small. Into the kitchen for some chips and dip. I would run into the bedroom to lay down. Run to get the mail (I needed a stop on this one). I finally worked my way to a mile, then mile and a half, then the other night, I was feeling saucy and put down 4.5 miles. I was feeling good. I was king of the world.
So tonight, I took off again. I usually feel yucky during the first part, but then it works itself out. Tonight was a different story. I started to feel yucky, but thought it would pass. I pushed on, determined to keep going. However my body had other ideas. About a mile in, which coincidentally is a mile from my house, i felt like I was going to throw up a kidney, I thought I just needed to adjust my pace. I slowed down but then was passed by an 85 year old woman walking her toy poodle. (i could have taken her). I kept going, and by this time I could have sworn actual bits of my lungs were exploding with every breath.
Maybe I should start back.....
I kept on, slower this time, I was sweating like the guy in the airplane movie. I was getting close. Checking my watch, how long had I been out? Are my kids still at home? Is Briana married? I was sure I had been running for 3 or 4 years; 14 minutes. WHEW!
I rounded the corner and it was then that I realized, I could have done this for days when I was younger. Things came easier, the future looked brighter, you had it all to look forward to. Now, later, you look back and regret too much, miss too much, and think of what could have been. So my thought was take today for what it is worth. You will only get it once.
Unless you run the jungle cruise, then you will see it every 11 minutes
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
hotdogs......again!
Recently my wife had the opportunity to spend some time away with her friends. She was technically working, but it was a Mary Kay seminar, and those ladies can party, so I doubt there was too much work... Her time away means its my time home. Well I didn't take any time off work so I could use it later. This presented a myriad of issues I needed to solve.
First, my little guys cant stay home alone. The oldest is working full time, and the other two older kids are at band all morning. Problem solved, I will send the younger kids with the older kids to band. There is nothing safer than sending your 8 and 11 year old to a high school marching band practice.
Well I think we all know how this is going to end. Yes the phone call came. I was patient, kind, loving, concerned. All the things a good father should be. He doesn't know it yet, but I am going to kill him in his sleep. HOW IN THE NAME OF SARA LEE CHEESECAKE DO YOU LEAVE TWO BOYS ALONE!!!
The point is my wife is gone, that leaves me to do it all. Now usually I am a pretty good helper. I do laundry, clean up the kitchen, help pick things up. I feel I am a good contributor. For some reason this week was horrible. Did anyone else know, when food disappears, you actually have to go get it? When milk runs out, it doesn't regrow in the fridge? Who knew?
I stumbled through the store, (no oreos, but a bug bag of sour cream and cheddar chips)stayed on budget, and actually planned a few decent things. None of which the kids wanted. We ended up having hot dogs the first night, cleaned up and all was well.
I like it when the wife is gone. I can make things my way, its nice. I also get a chance to realize how much she does. It gives me a bit of perspective. It helps me understand everything she goes though. How many times do we get a chance to spend some time in another person's shoes. It is great to think things through.
Long story short we ended up having "anything night" I wasnt up to cooking, do you know how exhausting it is to work all day and then come home to cook to a bunch of whinny children? I finally said, you are on your own, have what you want. I had hot dogs.
I found my wife had won a very prestigious award from her area. I was, and am very proud of her. I have always thought she is fantastic and works very hard to make things good.
On the third night I started to fix chicken. I only had a 60% complaint rate. I thought I was doing well. The chicken turned out pretty good. I was impressed. Then the big day came, the day Mom comes home.
Saturday, I decided to make sure the house was very clean, I made a list, a big list. I got up early, the kids were off to a parade, so I was off to the races about 6:30. Laundry, staining a door, going to the store (again, this is ridiculous) cleaning the bathroom, changing the oil, the usual.
By the time dinner rolled around, I was exhausted. The house was clean, we washed the car, things were all in place. It was time to prepare my last meal as a part time single parent. I decided we are going out! Grant asked if we could go someplace they didn't have hotdogs.
Man am I glad my wife is home.
First, my little guys cant stay home alone. The oldest is working full time, and the other two older kids are at band all morning. Problem solved, I will send the younger kids with the older kids to band. There is nothing safer than sending your 8 and 11 year old to a high school marching band practice.
Well I think we all know how this is going to end. Yes the phone call came. I was patient, kind, loving, concerned. All the things a good father should be. He doesn't know it yet, but I am going to kill him in his sleep. HOW IN THE NAME OF SARA LEE CHEESECAKE DO YOU LEAVE TWO BOYS ALONE!!!
The point is my wife is gone, that leaves me to do it all. Now usually I am a pretty good helper. I do laundry, clean up the kitchen, help pick things up. I feel I am a good contributor. For some reason this week was horrible. Did anyone else know, when food disappears, you actually have to go get it? When milk runs out, it doesn't regrow in the fridge? Who knew?
I stumbled through the store, (no oreos, but a bug bag of sour cream and cheddar chips)stayed on budget, and actually planned a few decent things. None of which the kids wanted. We ended up having hot dogs the first night, cleaned up and all was well.
I like it when the wife is gone. I can make things my way, its nice. I also get a chance to realize how much she does. It gives me a bit of perspective. It helps me understand everything she goes though. How many times do we get a chance to spend some time in another person's shoes. It is great to think things through.
Long story short we ended up having "anything night" I wasnt up to cooking, do you know how exhausting it is to work all day and then come home to cook to a bunch of whinny children? I finally said, you are on your own, have what you want. I had hot dogs.
I found my wife had won a very prestigious award from her area. I was, and am very proud of her. I have always thought she is fantastic and works very hard to make things good.
On the third night I started to fix chicken. I only had a 60% complaint rate. I thought I was doing well. The chicken turned out pretty good. I was impressed. Then the big day came, the day Mom comes home.
Saturday, I decided to make sure the house was very clean, I made a list, a big list. I got up early, the kids were off to a parade, so I was off to the races about 6:30. Laundry, staining a door, going to the store (again, this is ridiculous) cleaning the bathroom, changing the oil, the usual.
By the time dinner rolled around, I was exhausted. The house was clean, we washed the car, things were all in place. It was time to prepare my last meal as a part time single parent. I decided we are going out! Grant asked if we could go someplace they didn't have hotdogs.
Man am I glad my wife is home.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
50 cents should clear that right up
I am a worrier, I have chronic worry syndrome. I lay awake at nights worrying about how much I worry. I have medication for it, but I am worried I will become addicted, so I dont take it. I have severe anxiety which I should also be medicated for. I just worry it wont help. Today is an especially worrisome day.
I have tried to work hard my whole life to show people I can be trusted, and also show them I am loyal and dependable. Sometimes all that work, all the pain, sweat, tears, and dedication can go away in mere seconds. Your whole life and career can be thrown down with just a few simple words. The frustrating part? They are not even true.
I have told my kids all my life, I hate liars. I hate people who lie, it hurts and damages things in ways you can not even begin to see. The problem is, I cant even do anything about it, because anything I say will be seen as me trying to make myself look "not guilty".
All this on my sons birthday. I was trying so hard to make a decent day for him. Mom is out of town on this one so it was all up to me. I was on the way home after leaving early to try and clear my head and keep my spirits up for my kids birthday when I passed a small table with two young girls. I drove by, but had a small voice tell me to go back. I love those promptings. I am trying to listen to them more often.
I turned around and found a snow cone stand run by two of the cutest little red head girls I have ever seen. They were saving money for a bike I believe and wanted a whopping .25 for a snow cone. All I had was five dimes....
They politely asked me what flavor I wanted: "Blue, Green or Red?" colors are always flavors, they always have been to me, especially when pertaining to frozen summer treats. Think about it..."what flavor Popsicle do you want?" YELLOW! RED! never banana or cherry.
I ordered my red snow cone and proceeded to eat it on the way home thinking about what had happened to me. Then I got to the good syrupy part at the end. That is the best part. I had worked my way through the ice chunks with no flavor to get to the good part at the end. I smiled and chuckled to myself thinking; ".50, what a good fix to a horrible day"
I have tried to work hard my whole life to show people I can be trusted, and also show them I am loyal and dependable. Sometimes all that work, all the pain, sweat, tears, and dedication can go away in mere seconds. Your whole life and career can be thrown down with just a few simple words. The frustrating part? They are not even true.
I have told my kids all my life, I hate liars. I hate people who lie, it hurts and damages things in ways you can not even begin to see. The problem is, I cant even do anything about it, because anything I say will be seen as me trying to make myself look "not guilty".
All this on my sons birthday. I was trying so hard to make a decent day for him. Mom is out of town on this one so it was all up to me. I was on the way home after leaving early to try and clear my head and keep my spirits up for my kids birthday when I passed a small table with two young girls. I drove by, but had a small voice tell me to go back. I love those promptings. I am trying to listen to them more often.
I turned around and found a snow cone stand run by two of the cutest little red head girls I have ever seen. They were saving money for a bike I believe and wanted a whopping .25 for a snow cone. All I had was five dimes....
They politely asked me what flavor I wanted: "Blue, Green or Red?" colors are always flavors, they always have been to me, especially when pertaining to frozen summer treats. Think about it..."what flavor Popsicle do you want?" YELLOW! RED! never banana or cherry.
I ordered my red snow cone and proceeded to eat it on the way home thinking about what had happened to me. Then I got to the good syrupy part at the end. That is the best part. I had worked my way through the ice chunks with no flavor to get to the good part at the end. I smiled and chuckled to myself thinking; ".50, what a good fix to a horrible day"
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Did you ever have...?
Did you ever have ONE OF THOSE DAYS? You know the ones. They make you want to run and hide, stay in bed, punch a sibling, drive over a cliff, you get the idea. Well today seemed to be one of those days. After the big four day weekend work smacked me in the face like a five pound bag of nickels.
I know you need to keep a stiff upper lip, and put out there what you want back, and keep a good attitude, and what you think about you bring about, yadda yadda yadda. I get it. Some days, it just feels like you are the inside of an enema bag.
I spend a few extra hours at work trying to get caught up and come home to do the budget and bills, which by my calculation, is akin to rolling naked on upturned thumbtacks and then diving headfirst into a swimming pool full of rubbing alcohol.
After 'trying' to do the budget I decided I needed a break. I had put in at least 15 good hard minutes, I think Camelot is calling. (keep building Spartacus!) I drift in and out on facebook, win a few thousand chips in farkle, feed my fish in ocean party, build a mine, the usual.
I decided I would like to read my kids' blog. It was then that I realized they may have listened, just a little. by the time I got through the posts, I was crying. Big, fat, Ryan Newman crashed again tears. Simple silly things like things they have learned, but would never admit to my face. I think all I have really tried to do is teach them honesty, hard work, a love for family, God and country, and for some silly reason, something made it through.
So if you have ever had one of those days, take a moment to look at your kids (usually when they are sleeping) and realize, someday, sometime, it just may be worth it all.
I know you need to keep a stiff upper lip, and put out there what you want back, and keep a good attitude, and what you think about you bring about, yadda yadda yadda. I get it. Some days, it just feels like you are the inside of an enema bag.
I spend a few extra hours at work trying to get caught up and come home to do the budget and bills, which by my calculation, is akin to rolling naked on upturned thumbtacks and then diving headfirst into a swimming pool full of rubbing alcohol.
After 'trying' to do the budget I decided I needed a break. I had put in at least 15 good hard minutes, I think Camelot is calling. (keep building Spartacus!) I drift in and out on facebook, win a few thousand chips in farkle, feed my fish in ocean party, build a mine, the usual.
I decided I would like to read my kids' blog. It was then that I realized they may have listened, just a little. by the time I got through the posts, I was crying. Big, fat, Ryan Newman crashed again tears. Simple silly things like things they have learned, but would never admit to my face. I think all I have really tried to do is teach them honesty, hard work, a love for family, God and country, and for some silly reason, something made it through.
So if you have ever had one of those days, take a moment to look at your kids (usually when they are sleeping) and realize, someday, sometime, it just may be worth it all.
Friday, July 2, 2010
Reality Sets In
I am sitting in the airport after a long trip. I missed my flight last night due to other people being late. I hate when people are late. Its beyond rude. It tells me you dont think I am important enough to make my time a priority. I made the best of it by doing some more work in the area so it wasnt a total loss, and really it turned out to be quite the eye opener.
I have been driving around from branch to branch, just keeping to myself and seeing what I can see. It was like Mulberry Street.... As I was driving I came across thousands of acres of produce. It was in very neat rows, all the same height, same color, it very much appealed to my OCD.
Where I started to realize things was when I slowed down, pulled over, and answered my phone. I was talking as usual, not paying attention to much. When the conversation ended, I looked over at these unbearably straight rows and I saw them. There were about one hundred workers. They were all bent over at the waist picking whatever it was off the plants on the ground. Maybe it was my age, or maybe I was just feeling in touch wtih humanity, but I thought of the effort it takes for me to have a simple salad. They, I assume, stand bent over all day like that picking fruit for hours. I complain when my office gets a bit hot, or I get uncomfortable. How easy I have it....
I started to think of all the things I should be more grateful for. My family, my God, my ability to say what I want, when I want. My option to serve my country, my flag, freedom, everything. I have healthy children, who for some reason think I am an OK guy. My wife has stayed wtih me for over 21 years, (I say she lost a bet) a house, my cars run. I have a washer for my clothes, a dishwasher, a yard with shade, the list goes on and on.
I could ramble for days, but the point is, I realized how good I have it. I dont know why it took one hundred workers picking berries, or heaven forbid spinach, to teach me but it must have been fate, or karma, or kismet, or sushi, or what ever you would like to believe. For me, I think it was just what I needed to help put me back on the right path (for a while anyway...)
I have been driving around from branch to branch, just keeping to myself and seeing what I can see. It was like Mulberry Street.... As I was driving I came across thousands of acres of produce. It was in very neat rows, all the same height, same color, it very much appealed to my OCD.
Where I started to realize things was when I slowed down, pulled over, and answered my phone. I was talking as usual, not paying attention to much. When the conversation ended, I looked over at these unbearably straight rows and I saw them. There were about one hundred workers. They were all bent over at the waist picking whatever it was off the plants on the ground. Maybe it was my age, or maybe I was just feeling in touch wtih humanity, but I thought of the effort it takes for me to have a simple salad. They, I assume, stand bent over all day like that picking fruit for hours. I complain when my office gets a bit hot, or I get uncomfortable. How easy I have it....
I started to think of all the things I should be more grateful for. My family, my God, my ability to say what I want, when I want. My option to serve my country, my flag, freedom, everything. I have healthy children, who for some reason think I am an OK guy. My wife has stayed wtih me for over 21 years, (I say she lost a bet) a house, my cars run. I have a washer for my clothes, a dishwasher, a yard with shade, the list goes on and on.
I could ramble for days, but the point is, I realized how good I have it. I dont know why it took one hundred workers picking berries, or heaven forbid spinach, to teach me but it must have been fate, or karma, or kismet, or sushi, or what ever you would like to believe. For me, I think it was just what I needed to help put me back on the right path (for a while anyway...)
Sunday, June 27, 2010
When Did This Happen?
Recently, I have realized I may be getting a touch older. I don't know if it was the errant hair I saw on my ear, or the gray in my hair, or the fact that after family prayer it takes me a few minutes to get up. I think it may have been the fact that my wife mentioned "This is the last 8 year old birthday we will have." For what ever reason, it really hit me hard. My kids are growing up and I don't know if I have done what it takes to raise them properly.
Its hard to look back at your life and realize you have failed in so many areas. I guess the best you can do is do your best moving forward. Oh, if I only knew then....blah blah blah.
So what now? Well I believe the answer to that is simple. A hard fought game of Uncle Wiggly, smiling, listening, and realizing that all the irritants, are simply just passing annoyances which really don't matter in the long run. What does is your children, your wife, and the memories. Well that and a higher ranking in Kingdoms of Camelot.
I have decided to try and create some lasting memories lately. I hope we are doing the right thing with our kids. The laundry is piling up, the chores are not done, and the projects are half done. The good thing is we spent way more money than we should have to play a full out game of lazer tag! I would like to finally make the point, that my military training paid off. After being down big, the blue team made a monster comeback, through diligence, hard work, and repeatedly shooting my wife through the window while hiding in the corner.
Memories, I think that's where its at.
Its hard to look back at your life and realize you have failed in so many areas. I guess the best you can do is do your best moving forward. Oh, if I only knew then....blah blah blah.
So what now? Well I believe the answer to that is simple. A hard fought game of Uncle Wiggly, smiling, listening, and realizing that all the irritants, are simply just passing annoyances which really don't matter in the long run. What does is your children, your wife, and the memories. Well that and a higher ranking in Kingdoms of Camelot.
I have decided to try and create some lasting memories lately. I hope we are doing the right thing with our kids. The laundry is piling up, the chores are not done, and the projects are half done. The good thing is we spent way more money than we should have to play a full out game of lazer tag! I would like to finally make the point, that my military training paid off. After being down big, the blue team made a monster comeback, through diligence, hard work, and repeatedly shooting my wife through the window while hiding in the corner.
Memories, I think that's where its at.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Sick and Tired....
You know, when you get sick as you are older, it makes you wish you were little again. I felt it coming on, but thought I could ward it off with some ice cream last night at a birthday party. Apparently I was wrong. I felt like I had been set on fire this morning, so I obviously called in sick.
Now the thing with calling in sick is you never know if they believe you or not. I hate that. I value my honesty (along with my chastity) so I hate the thought of someone thinking I am "faking it".
Once you have called in sick, you are then free to try to get back to bed. The problem is, word has not spread around your employment yet, so my phone is ringing off the hook. I finally just turned it off, and slept for hours. Now, at 11 pm I am wide awake, I dont feel good, and I am thinking. I am going to be exhausted tomorrow...
Now the thing with calling in sick is you never know if they believe you or not. I hate that. I value my honesty (along with my chastity) so I hate the thought of someone thinking I am "faking it".
Once you have called in sick, you are then free to try to get back to bed. The problem is, word has not spread around your employment yet, so my phone is ringing off the hook. I finally just turned it off, and slept for hours. Now, at 11 pm I am wide awake, I dont feel good, and I am thinking. I am going to be exhausted tomorrow...
Friday, June 11, 2010
Starting off on the good foot....
Well, I have no idea why I am doing this, I mean really? Are we sure this is necessary? My lovely daughters (thank goodness they look like their mom!) have talked me into starting a blog. I personally dont think anyone will follow, but maybe there is some therapy in this.
Who knows maybe I will be discovered for my rapier wit and be able to live my life long dream of becoming a small town comedian, and then be discovered again to fulfill my true dream of working the Jungle Cruise at Disneyland (does anyone know the most feared animal in the jungle?)
Lets see if anyone even notices...
Who knows maybe I will be discovered for my rapier wit and be able to live my life long dream of becoming a small town comedian, and then be discovered again to fulfill my true dream of working the Jungle Cruise at Disneyland (does anyone know the most feared animal in the jungle?)
Lets see if anyone even notices...
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