Well, in keeping with the low self esteem theme, I would like to tell you a small story.
A while back I was a district trainer for a large retail video chain who shall remain nameless,,, I like to train. I think I keep things interesting while presenting the information in a format people will remember. I would like to think I am somewhat entertaining.
I tell you that story to tell you this one; recently I have been asked to help with a small portion of the training at my current work. It's a nice break and it gives me an opportunity to really get to know all the people coming to work for our company.
Well, in one of my most recent trainings, I was about 30 minutes in to my schtick when one of the younger girls raised her hand. Now I work in the mortgage industry, which is notorious for hiring very pretty girls. This is how the conversation went:
Craig: "yes, did you have a question?"
Unnamed Girl: "you kind of remind me of a movie star, but I can't think of his name..."
At this point, the first thought that pops in my head is possibly George Clooney, he's older, distinguished, good looking, rugged...yeah, that may be him. So I asked,
Craig: "is he a current movie guy?"
Unnamed Girl: "yeah I think so, dang, what was he in?"
Craig: "George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp?" (all older distinguished gentlemen)
Unnamed Girl: "OH WAIT! I remember, it was the guy from Ghostbusters, the nerdy accountant"
Yup, nothing like a little Rick Moranis to really make your day...
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Never Again
As a person with low self-esteem, I have tried to post those things when read will make people think I have some fairly deep thoughts and am bringing a better perspective to things.
Well today aint one of those days....
Earlier this year I lost about 35lbs. Oh dont worry, I have found most of it. I am trying to do the right thing. You know eat right, exercise, blah, blah, blah. It's not helping to have an In-N-Out 4.68 minutes from work, and one even closer from home I tell ya!. Well, this has not been a good weekend for the eating habits. We had pizza, treats, ice cream, soda...it's been rough.
Well last night my darling wife decided to make some popcorn while we watched lost. We were eating away and just having a grand old time. The episode ended and we took a small break (more treats) and I decided to blow my nose and go to the bathroom.
***DISGUSTING ALERT***
...i blew my nose and just after found one of those pesky kernel seed cover things from the popcorn stuck to my teeth. I worked it around with my tongue a bit, sucked on it, pushed it through chewed it, you know really gave it everything my mouth had without actually brushing my teeth. I finally worked the thing loose and put it on the end of my tongue to grab with my fingers. I reached up, grabbed it out of my mouth thinking, wow, that was a big kernel and discovered that somehow when I blew my nose a GIANT booger had taken the tram from my tissue and landed in my mouth.
It was no popcorn kernel I was working to get loose, I was simply chewing on my booger.
So, in keeping with tradition, please remember to not blow your nose directly after eating popcorn. The mistake could be tragic. Also be sure to have plenty of mouthwash on hand, just in case.
Well today aint one of those days....
Earlier this year I lost about 35lbs. Oh dont worry, I have found most of it. I am trying to do the right thing. You know eat right, exercise, blah, blah, blah. It's not helping to have an In-N-Out 4.68 minutes from work, and one even closer from home I tell ya!. Well, this has not been a good weekend for the eating habits. We had pizza, treats, ice cream, soda...it's been rough.
Well last night my darling wife decided to make some popcorn while we watched lost. We were eating away and just having a grand old time. The episode ended and we took a small break (more treats) and I decided to blow my nose and go to the bathroom.
***DISGUSTING ALERT***
...i blew my nose and just after found one of those pesky kernel seed cover things from the popcorn stuck to my teeth. I worked it around with my tongue a bit, sucked on it, pushed it through chewed it, you know really gave it everything my mouth had without actually brushing my teeth. I finally worked the thing loose and put it on the end of my tongue to grab with my fingers. I reached up, grabbed it out of my mouth thinking, wow, that was a big kernel and discovered that somehow when I blew my nose a GIANT booger had taken the tram from my tissue and landed in my mouth.
It was no popcorn kernel I was working to get loose, I was simply chewing on my booger.
So, in keeping with tradition, please remember to not blow your nose directly after eating popcorn. The mistake could be tragic. Also be sure to have plenty of mouthwash on hand, just in case.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
OH! I remember
There are days when you can't quite figure out why you had children. You sit and ask yourself what posessed you to do this? You really don't have an answer either. There is no logical reason why any human would want to stop sleeping for a 1-9 month period, lug around 35 extra pounds of gear, spend every last dime you have and for what? You cant quite get yourself an answer.
I remember when we had our first. As new parents we took so much gear with us everywhere we went, the United States Marine Corps Infantry used to laugh. By the time we had our 5th, we were throwing Dr. Pepper in a sippy cup and using my pants to wipe up snot. You have a tendancy to relax a bit.
Last night was not one of those nights. I spent the evening with the West Jordan High School Marching Jaguars. We are a musical little family, drums, trumpet, flutes, clarinets, guitar, keyboards, saxaphone, we play music, its in our lives.
I watched last night as the Jags competed against 4 or five other schools, we then stayed to watch the bigger 4A and 5A schools compete, then an exhibition from the BYU marching band and drumline. Needless to say it was impressive.
I always try to make a point when I blog, which is why I dont blog about useless or trivial items. The point I am trying to make here, and to tie in my beginning statement is simply this:
There is nothing, and I mean nothing, which makes me happier than to see my children perform. I cried last night. I teared up with joy and pride watching Lauren and Kyle out there on the BYU marching band field at LaVell Edwards Stadium perform. I watched as they gave everything they had worked for.
Now, for those of you NON-MARCHING BAND folks, dont kid yourself. These kids work as hard as any athletic team. I mean YOU try to go out and cover 7 yards in 5 steps while playing music, staying in step, not running over the person in front of you, not being run over, dodging those flashy flag girls and watching the Drum Major for timing queues. Its tough.
Last night watching my kids perform, it made me realize how wonderful it is to be a Dad. I also realize my wife had more to do with how these kids turned out than I ever will, but at least I can say they are mine.
The band didnt win anything. No awards, no mentions, no place, show, good job, better luck next time, good effort, thanks for playing, pass go, you rolled doubles, roll again, NOTHING. What did my kids do? They cheered. They applauded the winners.
Life was good last night, and I remembered why it was I decided to have kids. I tease and joke with them, probably too often about how I had kids so we could get the lawn mowed and the trash taken out. But last night it was all becuase I love to see my kids succeed, even when they lose. Its nice to know your children will all grow up to be a better person than you could ever hope to be.
Nice job Jags! No matter what the judges say, you are always 1st place in my heart.
I remember when we had our first. As new parents we took so much gear with us everywhere we went, the United States Marine Corps Infantry used to laugh. By the time we had our 5th, we were throwing Dr. Pepper in a sippy cup and using my pants to wipe up snot. You have a tendancy to relax a bit.
Last night was not one of those nights. I spent the evening with the West Jordan High School Marching Jaguars. We are a musical little family, drums, trumpet, flutes, clarinets, guitar, keyboards, saxaphone, we play music, its in our lives.
I watched last night as the Jags competed against 4 or five other schools, we then stayed to watch the bigger 4A and 5A schools compete, then an exhibition from the BYU marching band and drumline. Needless to say it was impressive.
I always try to make a point when I blog, which is why I dont blog about useless or trivial items. The point I am trying to make here, and to tie in my beginning statement is simply this:
There is nothing, and I mean nothing, which makes me happier than to see my children perform. I cried last night. I teared up with joy and pride watching Lauren and Kyle out there on the BYU marching band field at LaVell Edwards Stadium perform. I watched as they gave everything they had worked for.
Now, for those of you NON-MARCHING BAND folks, dont kid yourself. These kids work as hard as any athletic team. I mean YOU try to go out and cover 7 yards in 5 steps while playing music, staying in step, not running over the person in front of you, not being run over, dodging those flashy flag girls and watching the Drum Major for timing queues. Its tough.
Last night watching my kids perform, it made me realize how wonderful it is to be a Dad. I also realize my wife had more to do with how these kids turned out than I ever will, but at least I can say they are mine.
The band didnt win anything. No awards, no mentions, no place, show, good job, better luck next time, good effort, thanks for playing, pass go, you rolled doubles, roll again, NOTHING. What did my kids do? They cheered. They applauded the winners.
Life was good last night, and I remembered why it was I decided to have kids. I tease and joke with them, probably too often about how I had kids so we could get the lawn mowed and the trash taken out. But last night it was all becuase I love to see my kids succeed, even when they lose. Its nice to know your children will all grow up to be a better person than you could ever hope to be.
Nice job Jags! No matter what the judges say, you are always 1st place in my heart.
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