Whatcha going do when they come for you?

Last week was another lovely work trip. SUPPOSEDLY one state this time.

I flew into the lovely and quaint town of Phoenix AZ with the intent of driving about two hours down to Tucson, closing that branch, coming back to Phoenix, close that branch, and then up to the thriving metropolis of Flagstaff. Well, as per usual the rental car is a mess, so I have to upgrade. Let me give you this small hint. Once you find a decent place to rent cars, DO NOT SWITCH. The new company will totally hose you and then expect you to be stupid enough to stand there and take it. By the way, they are not really happy when you walk away mid rental and tell them you are going next door. Judging by the nasty language of the 20-something rental agent (who will probably die in his mothers basement) they down right hate it.

Fast forward two and a half hours of driving (by the way, if you have to pee in Phoenix and think you are just going to "hold it" until Tucson, dont.

I arrived at our illustrious Tucson location only to find I had to hunt down someone with keys, because the person we thought had keys did not. Once inside I once again saw first hand the foul nature of humanity. When you are let go from a job you would think you would try to retain some bit of dignity. Nope, not these people, it was dump trash, throw files, leave every possible thing on the floor. This place was so messy my 15 year old's room looked clean in comparison.

Its getting late, I realize this because my tummy is yelling "Food now, or we put this bad boy in reverse Jack!" So, i trot down to the local fast food establishment quickly choke down enough calories for the average 3A Marching Band (GO JAGS!) and proceed back to the branch.

By this time, it's dark. I realize at this point, the other 4 suites in this small strip mall style building are empty as well, and the landlord in a money saving effort has decided to turn off ALL the lights. No parking lights, standing lights, building lights, NOTHING! I am starting to get a bit freaked out.

I finally get things all boxed up, ready to load. I am starting to load everything in my Chevy Malibu (imagine what I started with if the Malibu was my upgrade!) If you are wondering, you can fit 19 boxes of files, 6 boxes of supplies, three 19" monitors, two laptops, one desktop, two boxes of paper, a small duffel bag, a 24 port switch, a wireless router, a small firewall, one box of cat5 cable, and a 135 lb printer all in the car, and still fit a dashingly good looking facility manager. Props to Chevy!

Meanwhile, amidst the fun of playing tetris with all my boxes the following took place. I take one box out, load it, go back and get another. Take a box out, load it, go back and get another. Take a box out,load ... "STOP! PUT THE BOX DOWN AND STEP AWAY FROM THE CAR!!!" Apparently when you have your car backed up on to the sidewalk, and you are in the very dark part of the Tucson business district, it may in some way give the impression to Tucson's finest you may be stealing.

Well by this time, its almost 11 O'clock at night, I am exhausted, and as always, I think I am pretty funny. The pride and joy of Tucson didn't see it that way. After some extremely poor choices for answers on my part, and going through almost every paper I had, including multiple things from my wallet, and a 15 minute spot where I was sitting cross legged on the ground, Andy Griffith decided to let me go. He apparently thought he had saved the city from the terrors of, well, me.

So as I recall this story, was I arrested, no. At no point was I encased in handcuffs. I was however, detained. I wanted to run, I wanted to be the bad boy, but lets face it, After 40 you really don't run, you saunter. Even the Tucson police can usually catch the criminally sauntering.